The Wedding

Sunday 24th October 2009
Farah came to my school as a trainee teacher, I was her mentor. She stayed for a year after completing her training with us. She was universally liked - a charming young woman, and an inspirational teacher. She had met Aslam when they were both at university, and was clearly in love, but coming from a traditional Asian background it took a while for the couple to get their families to agree to a wedding.

We got the invitation to the wedding a couple of months ago, and planned our October trip to include the wedding. At school I was told to take lots of photos.

This morning Alan took the boat for a short trip to ensure that the batteries were charged, and the water was hot for showers. We had hoped to move the boat a short distance from the General Elliott to avoid tonight's Karaoke - this was not possible, and we ended up moored immediately in front again (as I type this the karaoke is in full flow- and actually some of it is quite good!)

Alan went to recce the station, and check that there were no problems with engineering works this weekend.

While getting ready Alan discovered that his smart trousers and tie had somehow been left at home in the rush to get away - so he ended going to the wedding in (brand new) jeans!

I knew that it was quite a long way to walk to the station, and set off with my crutches, but immediately turned back, deciding that they were more trouble than an aid. I decided to hobble rather than use the crutches, which are not easy to use, and make the whole of my upper body ache.

We made the journey from Uxbridge to Alperton and arrived at the Clay Oven at around 1 pm - this was a mistake. Although it was the time on the invite it was clearly not the time that most people were expected to arrive. Farah's mother told us that she was getting ready - and would eventually appear from behind a curtain that was set up at one end of the hall.

The hall slowly fills with guests - the Clay Oven specialises in Asian weddings of all denominations.

We were told to sit anywhere, in a hall with about 500 seats around tables. Then sat for close on an hour and a half before very many other people arrived. Women were arriving in the most amazing clothes, encrusted with sparkling jewels. I began to look at the clothes to decide which were my favourites. A few women arrived heavily veiled, but with robes which also sparkled.

A couple of young women came and sat next to Alan, one was heavily pregnant, and knew Farah from when they had both been teaching assistants prior to training as teachers. Then an Asian couple came and sat next to me - the woman was also heavily pregnant. I asked if they could explain some of the customs and what we could expect. No, unfortunately not, they were Hindu, and didn't know the Muslim customs.

What we did ascertain was that the marriage itself would have already taken place - we were told that this would involve the couple each saying three times that they agreed to the wedding. They would not necessarily have both been present at the same place at the same time.

At around three Aslam, the bridgegroom, arrived with an entourage, and made a procession through the hall. Food arrived, and then the curtain was removed at the end of the hall, to show Farah sitting on a raised dais. She looked absolutely stunning, but sat quietly with lowered eyes. The Hindu couple next to us made sure that we got vegetarian food.

Farah sitting alone at the end of the hall - brightly lit for the video.








Farah with attendants - the groom's sisters I believe.











Farah was surrounded by people taking photos, she looked amazing, but a very different appearance to the person I had worked with. I went up to take a picture or two myself - she spotted me in the crowd around her, smiled, and gave a little wave - suddenly I could see the vivacious and friendly Farah I know.

Later on Aslam moved up the hall to sit next to his bride. Both sitting quietly, looking slightly bashful and shy, not talking to each other. Aslam's brother explained to me that traditionally the couple would not have met before, and so each were playing a role.

The couple sit quietly together showing traditional shyness and respect.











The couple with young attendants.












Cath talks to the bride and groom.

As the afternoon progressed we could see that the rules of etiquette were being relaxed and the couple were talking to the guests, so we went up and had a talk to them. I had not previously met Aslam and Alan had met neither of them. Farah's hands and feet were painted with henna, including Aslam's name in the patterns. She said that the henna painting had taken about two hours.

Farah's hands, the patterns were also on the tops of her hands and on her feet.











The happy couple.












We left a bit later, by the time I got back to the boat I was very tired, my foot aching, as was my left hip because I had been putting far more weight on it than usual in an attempt to relieve my right ankle.

An excellent meal in the General Elliott, and once again blogging courtesy of their free wifi.

It's been a genuinely fascinating day, we met some lovely people, and got an insight into another culture. We must remember to turn the boat back towards London in the morning, as after this morning's brief trip it is still facing northwards.
Locks: 0, Miles: 1.6
Total Locks: 44, Total Miles: 25.9